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Hate list
First published 2009 · 408 pages
A raw, unflinching exploration of guilt, grief, and the agonizingly slow journey toward self-forgiveness in the wake of unimaginable tragedy.
What it feels like
Reading this book feels like walking through the quiet, heavy aftermath of a storm. It is a deeply introspective and emotionally raw experience that anchors you entirely within the protagonist's fractured headspace. The pacing is steady and deliberate, mirroring the slow, agonizing process of healing and the daily struggle of facing a community scarred by tragedy. The prose is straightforward and unadorned, allowing the complex, messy emotions of guilt, complicity, and lingering love to take center stage without melodrama. It is a somber, tense, yet ultimately empathetic read that refuses to paint its characters in simple black and white. This is for readers who appreciate issue-driven contemporary fiction that tackles the darkest corners of adolescence with nuance and a cautious, hard-won hope.
- Mood
- heavy
- tense
- melancholic
- cautiously hopeful
- Tone
- earnest
- reflective
- somber
- empathetic
- raw
- Pace
- steady
- Themes
- weight of complicity · navigating complex grief · ripple effects of tragedy · difficult path to forgiveness · gray areas of morality
- The writing
- Direct, accessible, and emotionally immediate, prioritizing the protagonist's raw internal turmoil over lyrical flourish.
- The arc
- Moves from crushing guilt and profound isolation to a fragile, hard-won acceptance and tentative healing.
- Who it's for
- Readers who gravitate toward heavy, issue-driven contemporary YA that explores the messy aftermath of trauma without offering easy answers.
Content notes
- school shooting
- gun violence
- bullying
- grief and trauma
- toxic relationships
About the book
Five months ago, Valerie Leftman's boyfriend, Nick, opened fire on their school cafeteria. Shot trying to stop him, Valerie inadvertently saved the life of a classmate, but was implicated in the shootings because of the list she helped create. A list of people and things she and Nick hated. The list he used to pick his targets.Now, after a summer of seclusion, Val is forced to confront her guilt as she returns to school to complete her senior year. Haunted by the memory of the boyfriend she still loves and navigating rocky relationships with her family, former friends and the girl whose life she saved, Val must come to grips with the tragedy that took place and her role in it, in order to make amends and move on with her life.
Description from Open Library.
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