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If You Could Be Mine
315 pages
A desperate, heart-wrenching exploration of how far a person will go to keep the one they love when the world forbids it.
What it feels like
Reading this book feels like holding your breath in a crowded room, acutely aware of a secret that could destroy you. It is a brisk, emotionally urgent experience that plunges the reader into the claustrophobic yet deeply tender reality of hidden queer life in Tehran. The narrative is driven by a frantic, ticking-clock desperation, making the pages turn quickly as the protagonist wrestles with an impossible, identity-altering choice. The prose is direct and unvarnished, stripping away romanticized illusions to expose the raw, messy reality of first love colliding with systemic oppression. It will deeply resonate with readers who gravitate toward high-stakes, character-driven stories where the ultimate triumph isn't necessarily a fairy-tale romance, but the painful, beautiful realization of one's own authentic self.
- Mood
- claustrophobic
- desperate
- tender
- bittersweet
- Tone
- earnest
- urgent
- compassionate
- conflicted
- Pace
- brisk
- Themes
- sacrifices for love · gender identity vs. sexuality · hidden lives · cultural expectations · first heartbreak
- The writing
- Direct, accessible, and emotionally raw, prioritizing the protagonist's internal turmoil over lyrical flourish.
- The arc
- Moves from desperate, secretive longing through a frantic search for a loophole, culminating in a bittersweet acceptance of self.
- Who it's for
- Readers who crave high-stakes, emotionally complex queer YA that explores the intersection of culture, identity, and impossible choices.
Content notes
- homophobia
- transphobia
- threat of state violence
- forced marriage
- emotional manipulation
About the book
In this stunning debut, a young Iranian American writer pulls back the curtain on one of the most hidden corners of a much-talked-about culture.
Seventeen-year-old Sahar has been in love with her best friend, Nasrin, since they were six. They’ve shared stolen kisses and romantic promises. But Iran is a dangerous place for two girls in love—Sahar and Nasrin could be beaten, imprisoned, even executed if their relationship came to light.
So they carry on in secret—until Nasrin’s parents announce that they’ve arranged for her marriage. Nasrin tries to persuade Sahar that they can go on as they had before, only now with new comforts provided by the decent, well-to-do doctor Nasrin will marry. But Sahar dreams of loving Nasrin exclusively—and openly.
Then Sahar discovers what seems like the perfect solution. In Iran, homosexuality may be a crime, but to be a man trapped in a woman’s body is seen as nature’s mistake, and sex reassignment is legal and accessible. As a man, Sahar could be the one to marry Nasrin. Sahar will never be able to love the one she wants in the body she wants to be loved in without risking her life. Is saving her love worth sacrificing her true self?
Description from Open Library.
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