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Polysecure
332 pages
A compassionate, paradigm-shifting toolkit for understanding your emotional wiring and building secure connections outside the traditional relationship escalator.
What it feels like
Reading this book feels like sitting down with a deeply empathetic therapist who finally understands the unique emotional landscape of non-monogamy. The pace is steady and reflective, inviting you to pause and map your own attachment history onto its clear, accessible frameworks. It replaces the anxiety of relationship ambiguity with a grounding, hopeful atmosphere, offering a validating space to explore childhood wounds and relational triggers without judgment. The prose is clinical yet remarkably warm, translating complex psychological theories into actionable, everyday tools. It is an essential, paradigm-shifting read for anyone looking to untangle their insecurities, heal past traumas, and consciously design secure, loving connections across multiple partners.
- Mood
- introspective
- grounding
- hopeful
- clarifying
- Tone
- compassionate
- analytical
- validating
- instructive
- non-judgmental
- Pace
- steady
- Themes
- navigating attachment styles · healing relational trauma · redefining commitment · cultivating emotional security · conscious relationship building
- The writing
- Clear, accessible, and deeply empathetic, balancing clinical psychology frameworks with warm, relatable guidance.
- The arc
- Moves from the validating recognition of past relational wounds to an empowering sense of agency and secure connection.
- Who it's for
- People exploring or practicing non-monogamy who want to understand their emotional triggers and build healthier, more secure relationships.
Content notes
- discussions of trauma
- childhood neglect
- relationship anxiety
About the book
A practical translation of the principles of attachment theory to non-monogamous relationships. Attachment theory has entered the mainstream, but most discussions focus on how we can cultivate secure monogamous relationships. What if, like many people, you're striving for secure, happy attachments with more than one partner?
Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern breaks new ground by extending attachment theory into the realm of consensual non-monogamy. Using her nested model of attachment and trauma, she expands our understanding of how emotional experiences can influence our relationships. Then, she sets out six specific strategies to help you move toward secure attachments in your multiple relationships. Polysecure is both a trailblazing theoretical treatise and a practical guide. It provides non-monogamous people with a new set of tools to navigate the complexities of multiple loving relationships, and offers radical new concepts that are sure to influence the conversation about attachment theory.
Description from Open Library.
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