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Cover of Getting the love you want

Getting the love you want

First published 1988 · 375 pages

A compassionate, eye-opening exploration of the psychological roots of romantic conflict and the intentional path to healing together.

What it feels like

Reading this book feels like sitting in a quiet room with a wise, endlessly patient therapist who is gently untangling the knots of your romantic history. The pace is steady and deliberate, inviting deep reflection rather than a rushed cover-to-cover binge. It creates an atmosphere of profound introspection, shifting the mood from the frustration of recurring relationship conflicts to a grounded, hopeful sense of possibility. The prose is clear and empathetic, seamlessly translating complex psychological concepts into accessible, actionable insights. It is a deeply validating experience, perfect for partners wanting to transform their friction into intimacy, or anyone ready to look inward and understand the hidden forces shaping how they love.

Mood
  • introspective
  • hopeful
  • grounding
  • reflective
Tone
  • earnest
  • compassionate
  • insightful
  • encouraging
Pace
steady
Themes
childhood wounds · unconscious attraction · conscious partnership · healing through connection · emotional communication
The writing
Clear, structured, and deeply empathetic, blending psychological theory with relatable anecdotes and practical exercises.
The arc
Moves from the painful recognition of unconscious relationship patterns toward the hopeful, empowering work of building a conscious partnership.
Who it's for
Couples seeking to deepen their connection and individuals eager to understand the hidden psychological forces driving their romantic choices.
Content notes
  • childhood trauma
  • emotional neglect
  • relationship conflict

About the book

Originally published by Henry Holt and Co., 1988.

Includes bibliographical references (p. 293-296).

Description from Open Library.

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