Books › The Evolution of Desire
The Evolution of Desire
First published 1994 · 320 pages
A provocative, data-driven deep dive into the primal instincts that secretly govern our modern romantic choices.
What it feels like
Reading this book feels like stepping back from the messy, emotional reality of modern dating to view human romance through a crisp, scientific lens. The pace is steady and methodical, anchoring provocative claims in a massive foundation of cross-cultural data. The tone is analytical yet deeply inquisitive, blending clinical observations with relatable examples ranging from singles bars to the animal kingdom. It creates an intellectual, thought-provoking mood that challenges the reader to reconsider their most cherished relationships as echoes of our evolutionary past. The prose is clear and research-driven, making complex psychological theories accessible. This is a fascinating read for anyone who wants to understand the hidden biological currents driving sexual attraction, relationship conflict, and the eternal quest for harmony between partners.
- Mood
- intellectual
- inquisitive
- contemplative
- Tone
- analytical
- provocative
- informative
- objective
- Pace
- steady
- Themes
- evolutionary psychology · human mating behavior · sexual conflict · the science of attraction
- The writing
- Clear, research-driven, and comparative, blending massive statistical data with accessible real-world and animal kingdom examples.
- The arc
- Moves from a curiosity about modern relationship conflicts to a grounded, evolutionary understanding of our primal desires.
- Who it's for
- Readers fascinated by the biological and psychological underpinnings of human romance, attraction, and relationship conflict.
Content notes
- discussions of sexual behavior
- evolutionary gender generalizations
About the book
How we choose - and lose - our mates has always been a source of fascination. This controversial book is the first to present a unified theory of human mating behavior. The Evolution of Desire is based on the most massive study of human mating ever undertaken, encompassing more than 10,000 people of all ages from thirty-seven cultures worldwide.
If we all want love, why is there so much conflict in our most cherished relationships? To answer this question, we must look into our evolutionary past, according to David M. Buss. For in attracting, keeping, or even breaking up with our mates, we are closer to our ancestral forebears than many of us think.
With examples ranging from "love bugs" to elephant seals, from the Yanomamo tribe of Venezuela to the characters in A Streetcar Named Desire and contemporary men and women at singles bars, the author tells what women want, what men want, and then explains why their desire differ radically. The book discusses casual sex and long-term relationships, sexual conflict, the elusive quest for harmony between the sexes, and much more.
Buss's findings - which have been widely reported in both academia and the popular press - are provocative. He reveals, for example, why men lower their standards for short-term relationships but women maintain high standards for both casual sex partners and potential husbands. He explains why men worldwide prefer physical cues such as smooth skin and a particular waist-hip ratio.
He demonstrates that women everywhere, regardless of their own status, prefer ambitious and successful men who will invest in them and their children. He shows that infidelity is deeply rooted in our sexual strategies. And he offers evidence that divorce is a powerful and adaptive response remarkably consistent over time and cultures
Buss's research leads to a radical shift from the standard view of men's and women's sexual psychology. "Much of what I discovered about human mating is not nice," he writes. "In the ruthless pursuit of sexual goals, for example, men and women derogate their rivals, deceive members of the opposite sex, and even subvert their own mates." Ultimately we must confront the disturbing side of human mating in order to attain our goals of love and harmony.
Description from Open Library.
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