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This is how it always is
609 pages
A big-hearted, messy, and deeply tender exploration of how far parents will go to protect their child's right to simply be.
What it feels like
Reading this book feels like sitting at a chaotic, loud, and deeply loving family dinner table. It wraps you in a warm, conversational embrace, using a steady, engaging pace to pull you through the messy, terrifying, and miraculous journey of modern parenting. The prose is accessible and empathetic, frequently weaving whimsical fairy-tale metaphors into the grounded reality of domestic life. You will feel the mounting anxiety of a family trying to protect a secret, followed by the cathartic release of letting that secret go. It is a tender, tear-jerking, and ultimately hopeful experience. This is a perfect match for readers who devour big-hearted, character-driven dramas that tackle complex social issues without ever losing their sense of humor or their profound compassion for human imperfection.
- Mood
- tender
- chaotic
- hopeful
- anxious
- Tone
- warm
- earnest
- compassionate
- wry
- Pace
- steady
- Themes
- the messy reality of parenting · unconditional love · the burden of secrets · navigating change · the illusion of normalcy
- The writing
- Accessible, conversational, and deeply empathetic, often weaving whimsical fairy-tale motifs into everyday domestic realism.
- The arc
- Moves from chaotic domestic warmth through mounting anxiety and fracture, ultimately arriving at a place of hard-won acceptance and fierce solidarity.
- Who it's for
- Readers who love big-hearted, tear-jerking family dramas that tackle complex contemporary issues with warmth and humor.
Content notes
- transphobia
- bullying
- marital tension
- childhood trauma
About the book
"This is how a family keeps a secret...and how that secret ends up keeping them. This is how a family lives happily ever after...until happily ever after becomes complicated. This is how children change...and then change the world. When Rosie and Penn and their four boys welcome the newest member of their family, no one is surprised it's another baby boy. At least their large, loving, chaotic family knows what to expect. But Claude is not like his brothers. One day he puts on a dress and refuses to take it off. He wants to bring a purse to kindergarten. He wants hair long enough to sit on. When he grows up, Claude says, he wants to be a girl. Rosie and Penn aren't panicked at first. Kids go through phases, after all, and make-believe is fun. But soon the entire family is keeping Claude's secret. Until one day it explodes. This Is How It Always Is is a novel about revelations, transformations, fairy tales, and family. And it's about the ways this is how it always is: Change is always hard and miraculous and hard again; parenting is always a leap into the unknown with crossed fingers and full hearts; children grow but not always according to plan. And families with secrets don't get to keep them forever"--
Description from Open Library.
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