Books like This is how it always is

A big-hearted, messy, and deeply tender exploration of how far parents will go to protect their child's right to simply be. These 12 books are the closest matches in mood, pace and themes, with what each one shares with This is how it always is.

tender
chaotic
hopeful
anxious

01
How to Be Both
Ali Smith
A playful, luminous meditation on art, grief, and the fluid nature of time and identity.
Shares:
- tender
- wry
02
Luna
Julie Anne Peters
A poignant, secretive exploration of sibling bonds and the tense, beautiful journey of a transgender teen preparing to show her true self to the world.
Shares:
- tender
- hopeful
- earnest
03
For Today I Am A Boy
Kim Fu
A poignant, deeply internal exploration of a child navigating the heavy expectations of family and the quiet, persistent ache of their own true identity.
Shares:
- tender
- earnest
04
Beyond Magenta
Susan Kuklin
An intimate, unfiltered window into the lived realities of transgender youth, told in their own words.
Shares:
- hopeful
- earnest
05
If I Was Your Girl
Meredith Russo
A tender, anxiety-laced, and ultimately triumphant exploration of the terrifying leap required to let yourself be truly seen.
Shares:
- tender
- hopeful
- anxious
- warm
06
Far From the Tree
Andrew Solomon
A monumental, deeply empathetic exploration of how families navigate profound differences, ultimately revealing the radical power of unconditional love.
Shares:
- earnest
- compassionate
07
All adults here
Emma Straub
A warm, wry exploration of the messy reality that no one ever really figures out how to be a grown-up.
Shares:
- tender
- warm
- wry
08
The Art of Being Normal
Lisa Williamson
A tender, big-hearted exploration of friendship, secrets, and the terrifying thrill of finally showing the world who you really are.
Shares:
- tender
- hopeful
- earnest
09
Golden boy
Abigail Tarttelin
A tense, emotionally charged exploration of a picture-perfect family fracturing under the weight of its own secrets and a young man's search for his true self.
Shares:
- anxious
- earnest
10
Far from the tree
Robin Benway
A beautiful, interweaving exploration of what it means to find, keep, and love a family.
Shares:
- tender
- hopeful
- earnest
- compassionate
11
Irreversible Damage
Abigail Shrier
An urgent, provocative journalistic deep-dive into the intersection of adolescent identity, peer influence, and modern medical ethics.
Shares:
- anxious
12
The Argonauts
Maggie Nelson
A fiercely intelligent, deeply intimate exploration of love, bodily transformation, and the limits of language.
Shares:
- tender

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